The motherhood transformation

Truth Bomb: This picture is NOT the reality of how I looked & felt as a new mum on a normal day

Have you ever stopped to really think, talk or journal about the extent of the transformation you have gone through since becoming a mum OR from any other significant event in your life? I hadn't until I opened up my journal recently & 7.5 years worth of change, transformation, evolving all came pouring out onto my page.

I knew that I was not the same person I was before I became pregnant and I also knew that my parenting journey had not been what I once imagined it would be (in naive, pre motherhood, less experienced version of me!)

But once I got it all out and onto the pages of my journal I had a big realisation...I can not expect to feel, act, think or move the same as I did before pregnancy & babies came into my life. It is time to acknowledge what I have become, decide what is working & what is not & it is time to let go of any unrealistic visions I had of me as a mother and instead work out how to be the best version of me within my new & future realities.

Some of the big lessons I've learnt...

• Pre-pregnancy I belived falling pregnant would a breeze, my baby would be blissful & calm & I would be a domestic goddess (I actually 100% thought all of this). REALITY: took 2 years to get pregnant, very unsettled baby who has become a child with seperation anxiety & lots of sensitivities & my baby needed to be held all the time ESPECIALLY when it was time to make dinner or do any chores.

• I would get my pre-baby body back easy peasy by popping my baby into the gym creche while I enjoyed a workout. REALITY: the creche staff could not handle her crying so that didn't last but she did only sleep in the car or pram which meant I got fairly fit from constantly going for walks.

• Going back to work & continuing my well paying job will be no worries. Between Nanna & childcare i'll be good to go. REALITY: She hated both of these things & I was always stressing that the phone would ring to come & pick her up due to her getting sick or hurting herself. Getting her up, dressed & out the door in the morning was HECTIC & often took Hubby & I to make it happen.

• Time to add in pregnancy number 2 + difficult toddler + working + volunteering + total sleep deprivation + general life & household jobs...that will go well right?: REALITY: Exhaustion, became an angry wife, didn't appreciate the beautiful moments I did have with my child. Basically I was unrealistically trying to do it all.

• Baby 2 was born & suddenly going to work was removed from the scenario and holy moly that felt like a relief. This was the 1st moment that I realised maybe my current work scenario may not actually suit my life any more...hadn't thought of that before! I also expected my 2 children to fully adore each other. REALITY: they have a love hate relationship which can be very bloody challenging.

• Time to return back to work & this time I found a job with 'mum friendly hours' i.e. start late enough to drop them off, finish early enough to pick them up. Sounds perfect and I truly loved the actual job. REALITY: The only 'mum friendly' work hours are ones that are 100% flexible because some mornings do not go to plan & you will run late, children will get sick & you will need to call in sick & children also have lots of events like excursions, concerts, sports days and personally I want to go to all of these which means more days off work.

Now, I realise I have made parenthood sound pretty awful and the reality is that there are actually stacks of the beautiful, amazing moments that I dreamt about long before I became a mum. My point is that we need to try & be open to the fact that there will be many parts of life that will change including your mindset & how you feel about various things. Your priorities will change and there is a lot of stress & juggling that come with being a parent.

It has taken me 7 years to fully acknowledge this and to be brave enough to begin taking steps towards creating an income stream that I am truly in control of. In control of where, when & how I do the work required. Putting my time & energy into an income stream that truly suits ME & MY family. 

This picture is much more what a standard day looked like. No makeup, plenty of sickness & a dummy we struggled to get rid of. But the couch snuggles were nice!

MY TIME IS VALUABLE & I CHOOSE TO RESPECT IT